Of Blind Dates and Little Spitfires
by Toadflame
Summary: 'If they quarrel, they're in love; if they hit it off, she loves him, but he's secretly unhappy with her.' April Fool's brings Wally a bit of love-and a lot of trouble, courtesy of one little bird.


**Dedicated to **_**Cloaks and Daggers**_** as it, you know, IS her birthday-fic and all… Happy belated birthday, cloaks! This is for being an awesome person and friend!**

**Warning: Possible Crack. To the **_**n**_**th degree (haha, math joke).**

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* * *

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"You know," Dick began conversationally as he and Alfred were cleaning the Batcave. Bruce was in another part washing the Batmobile, and Dick personally didn't envy him. It got dirty when they were fighting Gotham's not-so-fine. "April Fool's Day is coming up tomorrow."

"I do realize this, Master Richard," Alfred's dry voice said, scrubbing a particularly stuck-on spot of mud. "Are you asking for suggestions?"

"Yeah," Dick said, briefly stretching. "Wally got me really good last year, though don't _ever_ tell him that, and I need to get him back."

"Well, if you don't mind my saying so, perhaps you could gather a few of your teammates into your…prank?"

Dick's eyes lightened in an idea. "That's it! You're the best, Alfred!" The boy jumped up and raced for the teleporter, but another voice stopped him.

"Don't you even think about it, the Batjet needs cleaning as well."

* * *

"Wally!" Dick yelled, barreling into the living room of Mount Justice. "I have a surprise for you!"

"Dude, you do realize that it's, like, four o'clock, right?" Wally asked, immersed in his _Call of Duty: Black Ops_ session. "Everybody's on, I need to get this done before they all log off for dinner!"

"Play later!" Dick snapped, dragging his friend off the floor. "I signed you up for a couple blind dates, you can't be late to them, and the first starts in fifteen minutes!"

"Blind dates?"

"Yeah, you know, a bit of a 'Let's go out and have guy's night out' and 'Let's go out and pick up some girls.'"

"Ooh-kay," Wally said, running from the room and flashing back, dressed in his blue button-up. "Where to?"

* * *

"So, beautiful, can I ask what your name is?" Wally asked, leaning forward on his elbow.

Whoever his date was giggled, and Wally smiled, hoping she'd blushed. He was blindfolded, as was per instruction on a blind date, and couldn't see anything in the broad daylight of outside, let alone the dimmed dining hall.

"Jasmine," the feminine voice finally answered.

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," Wally answered smoothly. "I'm Wally."

There were a few more giggles, and Wally was pretty sure he could hear Dick's snickers across the room.

"So, what are you like?" the girl asked.

"Charming, handsome, funny, smart, amazing, awesome, and a plethora of adjectives that boil down to those main ones," he said. "But enough about me, even though I am, well, amazing. Tell me about you."

"I don't know how to describe myself to show you," Jasmine answered, and Wally was pretty sure that he heard her blush that time. "But I'm really smart, I love to read, and I'll admit that I'm a sucker for guys that can do science in their sleep."

"Re-_ally_," Wally said, drawing out the second syllable. "I think I'm your guy then."

"I think you are," she said, and Wally smirked. This was going great.

* * *

Dick couldn't help but laugh at his best friend's face after 'Jasmine' had finally left. He sauntered over, watching Wally take off the blindfold and mess with it a little.

"So, how was she?" Dick asked, schooling his face into his 'I'm-being-sympathetic-really' face.

"Amazing," Wally sighed.

"Then what's wrong?"

Wally pulled a face, a mix between his 'I'm-thinking-really-hard' face and his 'I-don't-really-know' face. "She's _too_ amazing. I mean, she's exactly everything that would complement me, and yet I don't think I'd be happy with that. We'd always get along, and then who would I have to share my charming wit on?"

"Yeah, I don't think I'd want to be the one you're coming to when you need some banter," Dick said, and it was his turn to pull a face. "There's just one more, and then you can make your choice."

"Wait, why aren't you doing this?" Wally asked, suddenly suspicious.

Dick grinned. "I am, but you're blindfolded and don't realize it," he said, extremely glad for his quick-thinking ability. "Let's go."

* * *

"Well now, this is an interesting development," a girl's voice said, and Wally frowned internally.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, I can kinda size up your build from your proximity, and you don't seem to be my type," the girl sniffed.

Wally felt himself begin to bristle. Just who did she think she was? "I'll have you know that I'm very-"

"Skinny, short-you're probably no more than my height-and a bit on the dumb side." Why was this girl getting to him?

"Well, do you have a name?" he asked, changing the subject abruptly and not rising to the bait. Much.

"Missy," the girl said haughtily, and Wally could feel himself prickling out even more. She had something that irked him…but intrigued him at the same time.

"I'm Wally."

She snorted. "Figures. You even have a _name_ that screams that you aren't my type."

"Well, what _is_ this mythical type of yours?" Wally asked, feeling a growing heat in the pit of his stomach. It was fury and…awe?

"Tall, muscular, _hot_," Missy said, kicking him under the table. "Your leg doesn't feel muscular in the slightest."

"You don't even know what I look like-this is a blind date!" Wally said, voice rising slightly. "You know what, I don't think I want to talk to you anymore."

"Sounds good to me," Missy said, and they sat in silence until the food came. A personal feat for him, if he did say so himself. Dick could suck it, he could and _was_ using restraint.

"Finally," Missy muttered, and Wally could hear the clatter of her cutlery on the plate. He searched out his own fork, and started scooping coleslaw into his mouth.

"You even eat weird!" his tablemate exclaimed.

"How do you know? Blindfolds, remember?"

"I can _hear_ you shoveling it in!"

"Fine then! How's _this_?" He threw a forkful of food in her general direction. Judging by the squeal he heard, he'd hit her at some point.

"You little-!" Apparently, she was out of words as well, for Wally heard the small sound the food generated as she lobbed a forkful back.

It quickly escalated, with Wally throwing a chunk of chicken across and her retaliation with bread to his face. Another voice cut in.

"You two need to leave!"

And that was how Wally found himself steaming as he waited on a bench outside, Missy having taken off. He hadn't even seen her, even though he'd ripped the blindfold off as soon as he could.

"Dude, what did you _do_?" Dick's amused voice asked, and Wally focused across the street with a death glare even as he sank lower on the seat.

"That stupid date you dragged me to did!"

"What happened?"

"She annoyed me so much that I started throwing food at her." Wally sighed dramatically. "It was so good, too. The food, I mean. But throwing it at her was very therapeutic as well."

"So, you thinking you liked Jasmine better?"

"No way! Missy-that was her name-is totally the one for me!" Wally answered, perking up.

"But you said-"

"Never mind what I said-I take almost all of it back. She's annoying, but damn, she'd be perfect!" Wally grinned at that. "We bantered back and forth, she seemed to know what she was doing, and-"

"And you've gone off the deep end," Dick snorted. "We need to get back to the mountain-Aqualad called me in the middle of my dinner."

* * *

"What's the emer-gency?" Wally asked, stopping inside the mountain's entryway. Aqualad was nowhere to be seen.

"What the hell?" he demanded then, and Megan and Artemis came out of the kitchen.

"OK, Wally," Dick said, smothering a chuckle. "You caught me. I wanted to see if you'd change your mind when you didn't think that Missy was listening."

"That makes no sense, but whatever. No, I still say Missy's the one. Now, if only I'd gotten her number…"

"Guess this means that you can't flirt with Megan then!" Artemis' voice chipped in from the kitchen. She was grinning widely, with Megan standing next to her and looking no less happy.

"What are you talking about?" Wally asked, eyes widening as he began to catch on.

"Wally, meet Jasmine-" Megan waved her hand- "and Missy." Artemis' smirk told the entire story.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Wally shouted, but Dick was long-since gone out of self-preservation.

"Don't worry, Wally," Megan said, patting his shoulder. "Wasn't it Mr. Nelson who told you to find a…what was it, Artemis?"

"Little spitfire," she answered, grinning.

Wally's only response was an incoherent yell.

* * *

**Well, it seemed kinda cracky to me.**

**I used a bit of a prompt, but it was from a plot bunny generator, not from the YJCF for once. Anyway, this line popped up in one of the prompts, and that's where this idea spawned:**

I'll find him a spunky, moderately attractive tomboy type about his height, and steer them towards each other. If they quarrel, they're in love; if they hit it off, she loves him, but he's secretly unhappy with her.

**So, I know it's a **_**little**_** early for April Fool's, but the idea so begged for it!**

**I really, really hope you liked it, cloaks! Happy birthday!**


End file.
